somewhere between silence & screaming

Well, this has already not gone as planned, so you’re getting a double whammy today.  I’ve been sick for about 24 hours & going between absolutely exhausted and feeling kind of stir crazy.  I want to write, but I may change my mind midway through this and decide that what I really want to do is sleep.  But I’ll give it a (short) go.

Something you love about yourself.

There are days when this is really easy to answer, but based on my current state:  today’s not one of them.  All that said:  I think I’m a good blend between compassionate and practical.  I notice & deeply care about what’s going on with others, but I’m also moved to take action about it - whether that means just talking it out or helping to meet a need in a more tangible way.  I love it because I think it’s evidence that God really is doing a good work in me. 

Something you have to forgive yourself for.

I can’t actually think of anything right now that I haven’t forgiven myself for.  Is that terrible?  I’m not saying there aren’t things in my past that I wish I could do over, but everything I’ve messed up - God has made beautiful.  If I hold on to guilt and regret, I tend to get in the way of him using my mistakes for his glory.  This has most recently manifested itself through working with 10th grade girls.  There were mistakes I had made in high school that I struggled for a long time to forgive myself for, but earlier this summer, God kind of just told me, “Knock it off.  You’re wasting time!  I know it was painful and shameful and rebellious, but I can work with it.  I can make good out of it.”  And so I took a deep breath and said yes.  And He’s doing great things.

Alright.  Told you these would be short :P

I’m off to drink infinite amounts of water and apple juice and sleep.